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No midnight openings of the local games store in my little backwater, podunk town so now I’m at the mercy of the Royal Mail and the Thread Bridge O’er the Chasm of Disappointment. My glass is half-full. Seriously, I have to go to work today and I am going to be spending it with a seriously wide miff on if Teh Post lets me down, y’know? You don’t even want to be near me.

So let’s have a look at how Anj managed to finish off her adventures in Outland and forty-eight days at level 70, featuring the collection of gear that may be granted the status of “interestingly obsolete” a year from now…

Anj's final BC stats

Left side: Beast Lord Helm, Shattered Sun Pendant of Might, Beast Lord Mantle*, Blood Knight War Cloak, Scaled Drakeskin Chestguard and Vindicator’s Chain Bracers.

* for keeping the trap-cooldown set bonus and, also, because they were still better than the supposedly “epic” Beastmaw Pauldrons.

Right side: Gloves of Quickening, Guardian’s Chain Girdle, Leggings of the Pursuit, Vindicator’s Chain Sabatons, Angelista’s Revenge, Violet Signet of the Master Assassin, Assassin’s Alchemist Stone, Skyguard Silver Cross.

Weapons: Gladiator’s Painsaw, Skyfire Hawk-bow. Plus Sonic Spear, Girdle of Ferocity, Bloodlust Brooch and Bladefist’s Breadth for raid and stroke or instance swapsies.

Still no sign of the post in the time it took to link all of that. Hrmph. Anj waits on the Menethil Harbor docks growing increasingly impatient.

(added: Literally as I typed that last full stop came the noise of the post. Sounded heavy too! Weee! What the HELL am I typing THIS for when it’s been sitting there for nearly seven seconds now?! Go go go!)

My iGoogle homepage countdown trinket says quite clearly that there’s just six days until “a whole new world”, I’m unable to book the day off work for some bloody reason but will have the weekend and early half of the following week off to enjoy the sights, sounds and, maybe with a Collector’s Scratch ‘n’ Sniff Edition, smells of this Northrend place. The order has been placed, woe betide the mail-order company who shall remain nameless that doesn’t have it on my doormat on the morning of the 13th. But I digress…

For now though, all play time is governed by the denial of anything happening at all and getting on with Those Important Jobs that need Doing Right. It’s either that or standing around in Shattrath really, and just where is the fun in that?

Being exalted with The Violet Eye and not seeing the bow drop from Malchezaar ever, a crazy-fast run of Shattered Halls (seemingly the evergreen heroique du jour on Bloodhoof recently) with a Hyjal-geared paladin tank bagged Anj the Skyfire Hawk-Bow. Similar, but not strictly as nice looking as the Sunfury, it does have the one stat that I really need and have been tragically neglecting in the quest for crazy critical strikes, hit rating.

Add two Great Lionseye gems pushed into shiny new Leggings of the Pursuit and extra space made in Anj’s official Tyrande Whisperwind lunchbox for a stock of Spicy Hot Talbuks, in the short space of half an hour, her hit rating had more or less quadrupled, in fact, with a good ten seconds of eating tasty talbuk meat, the hit-cap is slightly exceeded. Miss something? Not today, sweetheart! Okay, the Stabilized Eternium Scope on top of the gems gave the whole kit’n’kaboodle a total bill of almost 1000g but, hey, it’s only money isn’t it?

I even logged into my orc hunter for a few minutes purely to get a look at the new Lady Sylvanas Windrunner in Undercity and it has to be said she looks incredible. That armour set she’s wearing? Want it so bad. Call it tier whatever the hell you like, it shall be mine. I’d even break the habit of a lifetime and show my cloak if it had the same torn, raggedy edges. It almost makes up for the fact that she’s the leader of a crybaby race with a chip on their shoulder a mile wide, doesn’t it?

Me and my Ghost Saber have been together since level 24, it’s hard to let go with a long-standing relationship like that. Good times, bad times, indifferent times, we’ve seen them all. Nevertheless, my occasional Let’s Try Another Pet nerve has kicked in once again and I tamed a shiny, red Wind Serpent from around where Maggoc roams in Blade’s Edge Mountains literally seconds before being summoned to heroic Botanica.

Pros: Lightning Breath is spell damage and ignores armour. Ranged attack could come in handy for the Netherwing quest to shoot down the drake riders.

Cons: Wind Serpents can, if pushed, be accused of looking rubbish with matching animation. They also hang around at about player height, so watch how they get in your way when you’re trying to loot something. That’s a dirty Voidwalker trick!

So, bearing in mind that the serpent is level 67, and only going with the Lightning Breath that comes installed as standard, here’s how he did…

Not bad lookin’ damage done, he turned out an average of just over 100DPS with… fairly okay averages on the individual, foil-wrapped abilities. Allergic Reaction though? That doesn’t look good. That’s slacking off on the Improved Mend Pet there, bad hunter. Moving on, taking the first heroic I could get my hands on (badges, need them), here’s how GirlsVsWorld did in Hellfire Ramparts.

Pros: Super-cute and ultra-deadly.

Cons: Psh!

Worth noting that the damage meters were reset shortly before the first boss because I was using the wrong ability, Claw instead of Bite which is bound to the same 10second cooldown as the Lightning Breath although costing fifteen less focus. All in all, recount was reporting an average of 200DPS, even with a criminal amount of unused focus. Wind Serpent not looking so good…

I think I’m going to reintroduce the Animal Handler talent to my spec pretty soon, if only for the reduced frequency of seeing that most awful of damage reports: “Miss! (Kill Command)”. Also, I’m just not prepared to start mucking about with the new enchant form of riding crops in the next patch. Any chance we could have it raised to a 10% speed increase though? I don’t see what is apparently so blasphemous about that idea, Paladins have access to 30% extra riding speed or something mental, and they’re not even the world’s official Friends Of The Animals.

Note to self: Also need a macro to call pet back, with dash and a mend pet, some of those boss AoE effects are plain mean to the animals. It’s all well and good the serpent having a ranged special attack but if he’s just going to get in the mob’s grill for the melee anyway, it ain’t a whole hill o’beans, is it?

August 2017
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