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Sun Rock Retreat, Stonetalon Mountains, and Braelyn Firehand offers Joot perhaps the first quest I have actively refused to do:

Cenarius’ Legacy

“You cannot imagine the hatred I possess for this wretched land. The ilk of Cenarius and the kaldorei druids at the peak employ their pathetic powers to stifle the flow of magic, even so far south of their pathetic holdings… their beloved forests.

Would that I could return to Jaedenar and exult in the flow of magic, but my master will not allow me to return until my work is done.

I have no doubt you love the night elves and their allies as little as I. Aid me, and both our ends might be satisfied.”

/decline. /slap. Go and exercise your own petty, selfish racism, you uppity bitch! And she’s in what seems to be a Tauren outpost. I might be a Night Elf at heart and little more than a Horde tourist but, please, Taurens, sort out your staff. Blood elves, honestly.

Rub your eyes, blink a few times and maybe add a double, even a triple take. I’ve seen gold spammers set to <DND> (as if dealing with a flood of whispers is something they have to contend with on a regular basis), even one that for some unfathomable reason frames it’s four-line annoyance with a pair of ASCII-art feet, but this really takes the cake:

“Well, I suppose if you apologise for it, then it’s okay, have my money!”. Damn these gold-sellers! In fact, you know what? I’m going to say it, damn these gold-buyers for making it so lucrative in the first place! Bloody kids these days can’t cope with game if there’s no god mode…

It’s been a long time since Tori, my blood-elfin defection to the Horde side, was taken out for a run in the world, stuck at level 39 and still too far away from exalted with the Darkspear Trolls to expect any kind of cool raptor mount anytime before level 45. Also, thoughts of paying money to transfer her to a server that shares a battlegroup with my Alliance home of Talnivarr were another problem. Something had to be done, no matter how drastic.

Maybe it’s time to start anew and, to be honest, if you’re going the Horde route and want to do another Hunter, a blood elf is a silly choice. With +1% critical strike rating with bows and the Berserker racial ability, it’s pretty clear that your ideal Horde hunter race is troll. Also, the coolest Horde mount is assured from day one.

So welcome Joot! But, look, compare and contrast Joot with the needlessly-full-of-himself-faded-rock-star-turned-reality-TV-voidbox Pete Burns as seen on the cover of his Greatest Hits album:

Greatest Hits album, yes. There’s… now, let’s see… You Spin Me Round (Like A Record). And it’s an album. But never mind that. Go Joot!

Initial impressions of the Chromaggus realm: Having no fancy level 70 alts around to provide pocket money for spending sprees, we’re back to the double gathering of the mining and the skinning. Happily, so far two stacks of copper bars have been quickly flogged for just shy of 10g, and that’s just over a half-price undercut! Certainly enough money for a 6g Netherweave Bag with plenty of change. On Dunemaul the market was flooded with raw mining materials, I’d struggle to fetch 2g on full stacks. Liking it already. Yay!

August 2017
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