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So… hi. Watch as I attempt, in vain, to sneak back like a person returning to a party after leaving in disgraceful circumstances.

Well, what’s been going on? Nothing much to be honest. The festival of alt-levelling has continued, both Girlpants and Wintersong are at level 60 and doing the steady grind through Hellfire Peninsula. Winters has reached both Mangle and Omen of Clarity in the talent specs while Teh Pants is gathering quest rewards for a switch back to Elemental.

Fenellafudge reached level 30 and became my first character to hit that level and be able to swan straight off to buy a cut-price mount. Now, you know how I said that blood elf mounts looked more comical than the grim harbingers of doom that, I imagine, they were probably supposed to represent? Wrong again. “I am a fearless hunting orc and, yes, ’twas I that beseiged and laid waste to your village. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to saddle up my demented, LIMPING dog and ride out of town…”. Darkspear rep is still on the priority-gather list, and heavens to betsy Horde get the rough end of the stick on mounts.

Also, look!

Anj was called back into active service for a farming run of Karazhan, seeing Nightbane and Netherspite for the first time ever and, over the course of about three hours, gathered twenty-one Badges of Justice, my own personal one day record by a long shot, as well as Gloves of Quickening. She even had a glimpse inside Zul’Aman, not as successful a run given that we fell flat on our face at the first boss due to tank problems. It still counts, and it’s very pretty.

Happy Lich King news of today is the revelation that certain aesthetic features of characters will be changable as well as the hair-styles. This is only good news because I’ve noticed for a while now that Wintersong has no facial markings and I have no idea what in the name of Elune was going through my mind when I clicked “Create Character” with that choice. It’s not right, it’s not on, and it will be changed.

Finally, am I the only person in the world that misread the “exotic pets” part of the extended Beast Mastery talents as “quixotic pets”? I was all ready to tame one of Azeroth’s moons. Stunned by a rogue who thinks I have no pet with me? Oh, you poor, sweet fool… WHAM! And you’ve just been moonstomped, along with everybody else in the zone.

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In memory of the dearly retired, my Horde server has seen the introduction of yet another new hunter. I know, mad. Back in the early days, Tori the blood elf got as far as level 39 before swift, decisive action was needed against the horrible, surly demeanor of her people. Asking the Silvermoon city guards for directions to the hunter trainer and being brushed away with a sneering “Oh, you’re one of them,” stuck in my craw a little and I have to this day never forgiven them.

Then along came troll Joot and that was going well for a while until Pike wrote an excellent article on starting a new hunter, weighing up the pros and cons of all the racial abilities and, Horde noob that I am with a +30 resistance to simple research, I found out for the first time that the orcs get Command which gives an extra 5% of damage to pets! And here was I, supposedly happily settling for a measly +1% crit rate on the condition that I stayed loyal to The Bow Club (which, granted, I was highly likely to do).

Fenella

Fenellafudge in black pants and white vest, like she's in Die Hard or something.

And so now there’s Fenellafudge. She’s an orc and staunchly proud of it. But why the name, as precisely no-one has asked yet as much as I’ve wanted them to? Fenella Fudge could well be the greatest name in the world, helped along by the fact that it actually exists attached to a real person, she’s a newsreader for BBC Radio 2 and, apparently, such inspiration for names isn’t random enough given that I discovered someone else using the name while searching the Armory! Undead warlock, if you please!

Orc Fenella has a pet cat called SallyTraffic (obviously) which was going to be a raptor but they only eat meat and, for some reason, I have an urgent need for at least one character per server to be able to fish.

So here’s the plan. Girlpants and Wintersong (with companion Bupu) are fast approaching Outland time whereupon they are going grab a couple of weeks of hard-earned rest so as to enter that brave new world all fully rested up and ready for action. I have until then to get Fen up to Joot’s level of 29 so she can join in the fun with Bupu’s blood elf priest in the Alliance-Haitus Magical Hordathon. So far, with just over sixteen and a half playing hours under her belt, she’s at level 17 which, seriously, isn’t all that bad.

December 2017
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