The quest Divination: Gorefiend’s Armor, having spent ages getting a group together to get this quest done after weeks of it being on my books and very quickly watching our huge dragon target go from full health to dead, something bad happened. A move of maybe a millimetre in the wrong direction set me falling into tiny crevice, boxed in by mountain and crystals rendering me unable to even mount and fly out, and basically meant I couldn’t loot the corpse and finish the quest. Not putting it lightly, I got a serious miff-on and this, once again, is where the rub came.

It’s a game. It’s just a game! There’s no way I can let my brain get all worked up and angry over a game, because it’s just a game! So that’s where it becomes handy to have an anger-sponge available to shift my emotions towards. Thanks very much, Bono. Now, throughout the course of what’s coming up, I use a word that ordinarily I don’t like using and don’t think should be used lightly but even so, it is a word that has the necessary power that no other word can even hope to reach, on rare occasions, it has a purpose. So do look out for that one.

So. Made-up quotes from Bono that he should say out loud and on a very public platform in order to not be the hypocrite, liar and fraud that he surely is:

“I think I’m a decent, right-minded person but, upon meeting George W. Bush, DIDN’T do what any decent, right-minded person would do and stamp on his balls”.

“I care passionately about the Third World and, thanks again to Bush, there’s going to be a lot more Third World coming up in the future”.

“Whilst banging on about poverty, my own personal riches are just not enough, so I moved my tax affairs to The Netherlands to squeeze a few more thousand-dollar bills in my back sky-rocket at the expense of that very same world development I think I’m Jesus for supporting”.

“I wear these dumb sunglasses all the time and say it’s because my eyes don’t react well to light but, in actual fact, it’s because my eyes don’t react well to being a cunt”.

“Did you hear me talking about climate change? Why not come and discuss it with me on my private jet?”.

“We haven’t released a single good album in the last twenty years but still get rich by appealing to gullible idiots with low standards, probably rich enough to be able to end poverty overnight and finally give the world the blessed relief of me shutting up and going into hibernation”.

…And I think I’m calm. Blizzard, that was a stupid place to stage a 5-man quest, but whatever, I enjoy your game and won’t let it get to me. Bono, I wish you shoeless, aching poverty in a cardboard box a million miles away from any recording studio. Good GOD, I would love to meet that man.

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